my broken heart
Tonight is among the first chilly nights of Fall. I decide to wear the almost-too-warm but irresistibly soft zebra stripe pajamas my mom just sent me with my purple jacket as I lay under the stars on my lawn. Just thinking. Wondering. I give myself a few hours to try to feel better...and then it is 11. I go inside and lay on my bed. I don't know what has been wrong with me lately. I ask Heavenly Father, or maybe I'm really asking myself, "What is the source of all this pain I feel?" I have everything to be grateful for. Everything. But I still feel this gnawing pain for something I can't escape and can't identify. I feel my mind slipping over a certain emotional place every time I try to pin-point it. It's hard to describe. There's something there making me sad and someday I'll figure out what it is. A tear slips out of the corner of my eye, so slowly that it dries before it falls to the pillow. I mentally scan through all the place