Love and Beauty

Today I heard an amazing lady tell an amazing story and I want to share it.

Here is some context first:  I heard this story with my friend who is a survivor of some heart-wrenchingly difficult life-circumstances.  She eventually escaped them and came to BYU where she started to make friends, for the first time in her life.  I have the honor to be one of her friends, and to be part of her healing process.  It has been one of the best experiences of my life.  Since I have known her she has blossomed into a beautiful, capable, strong women; she is one of the people I admire and respect most in the whole world.

She and I were chatting with one of the kindest and smartest ladies I know, who also happens to be a Jewish holocaust survivor.  I also admire and respect her more than I can express.

So there I was, sitting with these two people who have been subjected to the worst of humanity.  They are also two of the most wonderful people in the world.  As you might imagine I was VERY interested in hearing what both of them had to say.  Today we were discussing whether or not someone can deserve love.  Did the lady deserve the sacrifices made by those who loved her to keep her alive during the holocaust?  Did my friend deserve the terrible treatment she got as a child, or the outpouring of love she has received since then?  They both have had to wrestle with these questions.

You have to imagine this story told by a sophisticated, dignified, and brilliant woman with just enough of an accent to remind you that this is her second home .

"I have a friend who wanted to adopt a baby girl.  She got a call from an orphanage in China who said they had two girls waiting for her and she could choose one of them to be her daughter.  She hurried to gather some supplies for taking care of a baby, and made the journey to China as soon as she could.  When she arrived at the orphanage the two babies were presented to her.  One of them was pink and giggly and cute; she seemed perfect.  The other was pale and withdrawn, and even a little funny-looking.  It was assumed that she would pick the healthier looking baby, but something in her heart told her different.  She took the pale baby girl back to the hotel with her.

"When she arrived at the hotel she discovered the little girl had a fever.  She had brought some baby tylenol and antibiotics which she gave to her new daughter.  She gave her a bath and dressed her up in the pretty clothes she had brought along.  She saw the baby start to change.  She became happier, and more beautiful.  She realized that the baby wasn't loved because she was beautiful, she was beautiful because she was loved."

I think it's true that when you decide to give someone your love, they change in your eyes.  It doesn't end there though.  Perhaps beauty perhaps starts in the eye of the beholder, but when the beauty and love are internalized by the recipient, that person can actually change, even in the view of others who at first perhaps didn't think him or her so beautiful.  I have seen it happen.

You don't have to be "beautiful" to be beautiful, you just have to be loved, and everyone is loved.  Everyone is loved.

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