Probably seven and a half times every day I think so myself, "You should write this down, or blog about it or something, but don't lose or forget all the great things that are happening to you!" So I'm going to try. I'll try not to make it lengthy, or tell stories that aren't that interesting, and I'll try to include pictures. All the good blogs have pictures!
Today however I have no pictures. Let me see if I can at least round up some thoughts.
1.While I was working on my research I noticed that when I changed one little thing about the way I was modeling the phenomenon I'm studying all of the results changed too! I had to ask myself, which of all the ways I could model my research best represents reality? There is no way to know, and that drives me CRAZY. Seriously, crazy, I think about it all the time. What drives me crazier is how scientific journals only publish very specific types of results which makes all public science TOTALLY unscientific. I feel like it will be my crusade to try to beat this oppressive system. I know in theory it's too big to be beaten...but my whole crusade is about proving 'theory' wrong anyway, so why subscribe to the theory that I can't win, or at least make a difference?
2. At a bridal shower, a little baby was intently staring at my room mate who is a lovely Korean girl. The baby's mom explained to us that the baby just loves to look at Asian people. I thought that was kind of funny for a baby to have a preference like that. It made me think of my future niece and how she will be 1/4 Japanese! I can't wait to meet her, she is going to be so beautiful and perfect!
3. Last night I watched Brene Brown's new TED talk about shame and vulnerability. She defined shame as thinking you are inherently bad, as in something you did made you bad. I know perfectionism is a huge battle many people face. They feel like the things they do reflect on their worth. I have somehow managed to beat that by realizing that it is so counter-productive for me to think "this is my fault, I did this, I am not as good a person as I thought, blah blah blah." That kind of thinking makes me worse at what I'm doing and is a waste of time! I wish it could be banished from everyone's mind!
It makes me think of errors in softball (or any other sport for that matter). You miss the catch, you get down on yourself, you miss another catch, you overthrow a ball, you feel worse and worse, and pretty soon you are spiraling downward into uselessness. One mistake turns into two, two turn into three. We cannot afford to do that with our lives! There is no sitting on the bench to cool off. You are playing by definition because you are alive. Even if you take time out, you are still playing! So remember the purpose of the game anyway, we are here to gain experience and to learn to love and trust. Not to prove that we are already perfectly experienced, loving, and trusting. If we are trying to convince anyone of that, we are trying to lie to them and to ourselves. Though such efforts are probably well intentioned, that's just not what it's about!
We have such precious little time on Earth, we can't afford to waste it thinking that anything that we can ever do or not do changes our inherent worth!
Phew! Just had to get that out, it has been on my mind a lot!
4. Hunger Games. Seeing the movie tonight brought me full circle to my thoughts about research today. I can't stand the idea of living in a world where I have to abide by falsehoods, and focus on frivolity because it is enforced either by people in power or society (which is largely shaped
shaped by people in power). Research is governed by a 'ruling body' of sorts who are incredibly biased, which in my opinion, makes most of it pretty much unreliable. Human experience is so much more powerful and more accurate than any statistics. And I'm saying that with enough knowledge of statistics to say that I think I understand where they come from and what they really mean. I'll have to write another post about this, there's too much to say here.
Anyway...
The idea that huge groups of people can be unjustly manipulated by a ruling group who claim to be benevolent and just is something we should be constantly aware of. To me, that's what that movie is about. Saying it's just about teenagers killing each other is like saying you don't want to watch or know or think about Hotel Rwanda because people die in it. The issues brought up by both movies will end up staring us in the face someday, and ignoring them until
then will only leave us unprepared and uneducated. Yeah, teenagers killing each other is WEIRD AND TWISTED! And a movie about how a society got to the point where it's ok with them...it wouldn't hurt to think about how to keep ourselves from going down the same path and getting trapped.
I expected this to only be a few lines long, I guess I had more to say than I thought!
Til next time
Today however I have no pictures. Let me see if I can at least round up some thoughts.
1.While I was working on my research I noticed that when I changed one little thing about the way I was modeling the phenomenon I'm studying all of the results changed too! I had to ask myself, which of all the ways I could model my research best represents reality? There is no way to know, and that drives me CRAZY. Seriously, crazy, I think about it all the time. What drives me crazier is how scientific journals only publish very specific types of results which makes all public science TOTALLY unscientific. I feel like it will be my crusade to try to beat this oppressive system. I know in theory it's too big to be beaten...but my whole crusade is about proving 'theory' wrong anyway, so why subscribe to the theory that I can't win, or at least make a difference?
2. At a bridal shower, a little baby was intently staring at my room mate who is a lovely Korean girl. The baby's mom explained to us that the baby just loves to look at Asian people. I thought that was kind of funny for a baby to have a preference like that. It made me think of my future niece and how she will be 1/4 Japanese! I can't wait to meet her, she is going to be so beautiful and perfect!
3. Last night I watched Brene Brown's new TED talk about shame and vulnerability. She defined shame as thinking you are inherently bad, as in something you did made you bad. I know perfectionism is a huge battle many people face. They feel like the things they do reflect on their worth. I have somehow managed to beat that by realizing that it is so counter-productive for me to think "this is my fault, I did this, I am not as good a person as I thought, blah blah blah." That kind of thinking makes me worse at what I'm doing and is a waste of time! I wish it could be banished from everyone's mind!
It makes me think of errors in softball (or any other sport for that matter). You miss the catch, you get down on yourself, you miss another catch, you overthrow a ball, you feel worse and worse, and pretty soon you are spiraling downward into uselessness. One mistake turns into two, two turn into three. We cannot afford to do that with our lives! There is no sitting on the bench to cool off. You are playing by definition because you are alive. Even if you take time out, you are still playing! So remember the purpose of the game anyway, we are here to gain experience and to learn to love and trust. Not to prove that we are already perfectly experienced, loving, and trusting. If we are trying to convince anyone of that, we are trying to lie to them and to ourselves. Though such efforts are probably well intentioned, that's just not what it's about!
We have such precious little time on Earth, we can't afford to waste it thinking that anything that we can ever do or not do changes our inherent worth!
Phew! Just had to get that out, it has been on my mind a lot!
4. Hunger Games. Seeing the movie tonight brought me full circle to my thoughts about research today. I can't stand the idea of living in a world where I have to abide by falsehoods, and focus on frivolity because it is enforced either by people in power or society (which is largely shaped
shaped by people in power). Research is governed by a 'ruling body' of sorts who are incredibly biased, which in my opinion, makes most of it pretty much unreliable. Human experience is so much more powerful and more accurate than any statistics. And I'm saying that with enough knowledge of statistics to say that I think I understand where they come from and what they really mean. I'll have to write another post about this, there's too much to say here.
Anyway...
The idea that huge groups of people can be unjustly manipulated by a ruling group who claim to be benevolent and just is something we should be constantly aware of. To me, that's what that movie is about. Saying it's just about teenagers killing each other is like saying you don't want to watch or know or think about Hotel Rwanda because people die in it. The issues brought up by both movies will end up staring us in the face someday, and ignoring them until
then will only leave us unprepared and uneducated. Yeah, teenagers killing each other is WEIRD AND TWISTED! And a movie about how a society got to the point where it's ok with them...it wouldn't hurt to think about how to keep ourselves from going down the same path and getting trapped.
I expected this to only be a few lines long, I guess I had more to say than I thought!
Til next time
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