Changes

Sometimes I paint pretty things. And sometimes I paint things that aren't that pretty but are a good idea, like this one.  The words, in case you can't read them say

"Oh God our help in ages past,
our hope for years to come,
our shelter from the stormy blast,
and our eternal home.

Under the shadow of thy throne,
still may we dwell secure,
sufficient is thine are alone,
and our defense is sure."

I just love that song so much I felt to paint it one day.  And today I found the picture of it on my phone.

Also, here are a couple of thoughts:
1. Today I took my last final.  Ever (maybe).  At least for the foreseeable future.  I first celebrated by talking with my favorite professor and classmate about Batman, of course.  I'm definitely going to miss stuff like that.  Then I went to my favorite spot by the Lake, practiced my favorite game with one of my favorite friends at my favorite park, then another game I like and one more friend I like.  Dinner at my favorite restaurant with the girl who writes my favorite blog.  I went for a run, went to the temple, and at 10 pm I decided it was time to cook that chicken that has been in my fridge.  It was a very busy day of very casual celebrating.  I guess my favorite things aren't really a big deal.  It's kind of nice, this way I get to do them all the time.

Anyway, I finished a masters degree today.  That actually feels pretty good.

2. I wanted to go fishing this morning with a friend, but I woke up and just was having one of those times when I cry and cry and it's too much even for waterproof mascara.  So I canceled, then I felt really bad and dumb for canceling something fun because I was crying.  What, am I three?  But I'm trying not to be shameful about that kind of thing, and shame makes me not want to share so even though I'm not sure that's something I should share, I thought I would just try and see how it feels.  I have a friend who writes fearlessly and she inspires me.

3. Someone asked me what I like best and worst about my job.  She told me that most people say some version of, "The best part is when you see people change their lives, and the worst part is when people won't change."  I guess somewhere along the line I figured out that it wasn't a good idea to base whether or not I like my job on something that I have no control over, i.e. people changing.  For me the best part is how when I understand people's inner worlds I start to see certain patterns everywhere.  Everything makes more sense to me.  Everyone becomes part of this big puzzle of life and truth that I'm trying to put together and I think it's totally amazing.  That perspective helps me love and enjoy working with people regardless of whether they want to change.   I think they're part of an amazing plan and system, and the fact that they CAN choose NOT to change has a lot of meaning to me.

When I first said that out loud I thought it might be a little selfish, but seriously, I wouldn't be able to handle it if what I lived for was seeing people change.  Why would you measure the worth of what you do by something you don't really do?!  Of course I love it when people change and achieve their goals, but that can't be my only driving force.

That's all :)